I have given birth to 4 vampires, who are most energetic, after dusk. Summer may be the most active vampire season, as the pool seems to attract them on hot nights. Given that, myself, husband, & dogs are on “NVL time” (Non Vampire Lamesville time), sleep on these nights, can be elusive for us.
Vampires are genetically predisposed to have no clue, that other, non vampires, may be trying to sleep. They do not own a whisper voice, and feel it is in the best interest, to open and close car doors and the pool gate, as many times as humanly possible.
As the canine bestseller “How to be a Dog 101” dictates, each time a car door slams or a gate opens, it is the responsibility of any dog present, to begin barking. Furthermore, upon visual confirmation of person, squirrel or absolutely nothing, you add running back and forth between windows (& floors of your home if applicable) to your “How to save the family” to do list. And finally, continue the process nonstop, until you are beaten to death, or lose interest.
Once the vampire club is contained in the yard, and have entered the pool to “chill”, the dogs grow bored of standing at the back door growling. Evidently Ok with vampires raping and pillaging the back yard, they come to our room, flop on the floor, and return to sleep.
Alas everyone knows vampires cannot survive without a Wawa run. So after what seems like mere minutes later, they have a brief ruckus meeting to decide who is driving, who is going, and who owes who money. Once established, the Wawa consumers leave. The gate opens, the car doors slam, and poof the dogs are back to “saving us” again.
Being the crazy cat lady is looking more attractive every day.
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