Battle of the Bedroom

Two months ago, after 34 years of marriage and many big dogs, it occurred to me that perhaps a better night’s sleep was possible, if you slept in a bed without 250 collective pounds of dogs surrounding you.

 

We put a gate on our bedroom door, and waited expectantly to arise each morning, spring out of bed, and face the day with a youthful and triumphant vigor.  Well apparently, mid 50’s is the gateway to broken down body hell, so that didn’t happen, but we kept the gate up anyway.  (Golden years my a$$) 

 

Surprisingly Seamus and Norman adjusted to the new bedroom ban, quite well.  Mack, on the other hand, is apparently more resistant to change. 

 

On random nights, he will intermittently head butt the gate, loudly sigh, grumble, and complain, then continue campaigning until he convinces the other two, that their lives are also ruined.  After a brief group discussion and airing of grievances, everyone begins howling.  The hounds from hell proudly sing the song of their people until they either lose interest, or mild-mannered Farmer Howard by day AKA Crazy Angry Bear when awakened at night, threatens to behead each and every one of them.  

 

The following mornings, Mack’s bored, disgruntled nighttime trail of woe is visible.  Throw pillows, blankets and random shoes are strewn about, any napkin left out is chewed up, and previous neatly stacked papers have been thoroughly schnuffled, and left to lie where they fell.

 

Who will blink first ~ me or Mack ?  

 

I recently purchased a new comforter for our king size bed.  I did not look for the perfect shade of Dark Mud to best hide muddy paw prints, slobber and dog hair.  I did not search only durable fabrics that contain words like “indoor/outdoor”, “waterproof”, and “lifetime warranty”.  I did not look for the laundry symbol that means: can survive frequent washing without 

disintegration.

 

I chose a high thread count, luxurious, HGTV design house worthy, absolutely crazy all white with a delicately stitched black border, comforter.  I feel like I sleep in a fancy hotel bed now.     

 

Game on Mack.  Your master bedroom days are over.  

 

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